Conflict

I’m not really a person who is quick to anger. When somebody does something that I find to be offensive, my first reaction is usually laughter. It’s likely a disarming mechanism or a coping mechanism but I won’t get into that now.

I can recall one instance in recent memory that made me quite upset. I was taking a trip with a few friends, we were on our way out of town, I made a wrong turn down a residential street and SMASH my windshield was suddenly shattered. I hadn’t seen anything strike the window, there weren’t any people or other cars around. After a brief moment of shock I pulled over and examined the damage, trying to find the point of impact. I briefly considered that I was struck by a small meteor. But nah. After examining the large spider web of cracks I found a white smudge with several dimples — a golfball had struck my windshield.

I had then realized that the large green field to my right was indeed a golf course. I felt like I couldn’t just shrug my shoulders and drive away. I decided to pull into the course to see what happened — it was partly a safety concern, as I had been driving through a residential area and there were no signs or nets to catch loose balls.

Anyway, I get to the golf course, luckily there was only one person there, so finding out who hit the ball wasn’t an issue. Turns out it was the manager, getting a few (terrible) swings in before opening. I guess, this would be the apex in the story. Had he just said, “oh yeah, it happens, sorry about that…” I probably would have just brushed it off to bad luck and drove away. Unfortunately, that did not happen, the manager was just so rude and combative, going as far as throwing personal attacks. At this point, I had not made any accusations, I simply told him what had happened. I was insulted and flustered, and I felt it… anger.

I asked why they don’t have nets to catch the balls, he said it would take away from the view. At no point in this conversation was the issue ever, who hit it, or, who is responsible. It was immediately, “too bad, now get off our property.”

I really didn’t know how to respond, so I left. I went home and actually decided to do the one thing that I knew how to do well, take him to court. I drove around with a broken windshield for 16 months, waiting for my court date. First case, I won. He appealed the decision; I won that too. I had only asked for the cost to repair the windshield, not a cent more. In the end, the judge ironically decided to award double damages because the respondent (the manager) was rude and belligerent during the whole preceding.

In the end, I learned that there are other ways of sticking up for yourself that don’t result in violence, but many situations could be diffused with a little bit of politeness and humility.

The look on his face as we left the courtroom though….